The Fear of Julia Haw
Oil on Canvas, Acrylic Montana Spray Paint
(This piece is available with price on request)
My greatest fear is somewhat hypothetical – It is if I were to be at the end of my life with regrets. This is rooted in the thought that a part of me had lived with fear – that I didn’t take a particular chance because I didn’t feel my work or my self was worth it. I positioned myself in the painting with arms out and face obscured, presenting myself as a sort of martyr. In reality, I try my damnedest never to live this way. The most dangerous place to be is resting in the idea that I “might not make it,” that it’s difficult for any artist to reach that top tier of success. In layman’s terms, fuck that. I am spending and will continue to spend my life shooting for the moon. What else is there?? I can only think of Langston Hugh’s poem “Harlem:”
“What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?”
For 120 days I will be posting a painting of mine, starting from 2006 and working forward in chronological manner.
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